Book 4 The Stay-at-home Mum: [Steph]

tay-at-home mums are unambitious spongers who have given up their careers and all feminist principles to laze about watching Loose Women. They spend their poor working partner’s cash in shopping malls, cafes and Boden catalogues. Invariably they are paranoid about abduction, and drive their bratish children the half-mile to school in gas-guzzling 4 by 4s, or else they take up all the room on the bus or pavement with their over-sized buggies.

And they’re so boring! They only ever want to talk about their kids and how ‘fulfilling’ motherhood is, trying to out-preach each other on the benefits of ‘real’ nappies or breastfeeding. They’re always moaning on MumsNet about how childcare isn’t good enough for their little angels, so they just have to stay at home… and how home life is so much harder than paid employment. They make working mothers feel guilty and think themselves morally superior, but know nothing of the real world now. Most have ‘let themselves go’ to become frumpish middle aged housewives – fifties stereotypes but with crocs and Cath Kidston accessories.

Mummies (whether yummy or not) are a waste of space and an irrelevance to everyone other than their own spoilt kids… who they will expect you to adore no matter how dull or obnoxious they are.

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About Katy Duke

Human Books organiser & project manager
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