Book 8 The (male) vegetarian ecologist [Daniel]

Vegetarians regard themselves as being morally superior, self-righteous lefty hippies, or they are just being plain annoying and difficult, making everyone else feel guilty for no reason. They are all on the brink of death (due to just eating rabbit food), and have to get the rest of their nutrition from supplements. This makes vegetarian food plain, boring and tasteless.

Now add to that being a male vegetarian! Ipso facto he must be homosexual. He probably even weeps in butchers shops and is about as strong as Mr Burns from the Simpsons. All vegetarians and vegans choose to be so for the same reason (the ‘poor fluffy bunnies have rights too’ argument, AKA being an annoying pansy).

And the final unanswerable mystery…where DO they get their protein from??! Is it magic? Is it all done with mirrors? Or is there something else?

And what has ecology got to do with the argument? Oh good god, he’s a geek too! He probably just sits in a sunless laboratory all day looking down a microscope, and relates better to computers. That must be the reason why he wants to be so annoying and self-righteous in his spare time, to get back at the rest of us.


About Katy Duke

Human Books organiser & project manager
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